Honestly, we are very much against violence. But if someone forced us to come up with the best 5 countries to nuke or else our balls would be chopped off, we would have no choice but to come up with this list:

1. Congo. Also known as Zaire, this nation is one of the best 5 countries to nuke. Congo has about, um, zero laws. If you want to be kidnapped and slaughtered for dinner by militia groups, book a flight to Congo now.
2. Central African Republic. This country makes it to the best 5 countries to nuke because it seems to have no respect for laws. Rebel groups abound; to say that this area is unsafe would be an understatement.
3. Iran. As one of the best 5 countries to nuke, Iran is actually being run by Islamic extremists. This country is pretty much anti-non-Muslim, so don’t make the mistake of preaching about Jesus here.
4. Eritrea. This country makes it to the best 5 countries to nuke because it has little respect for freedom of speech. More than 30 media men and journalists are being held as prisoners in this country in almost inhumane conditions.
5. North Korea. The top 1 of the best 5 countries to nuke. Look at the picture below of the North Korean soldier pointing at you. No explanations necessary.

1. Rip off your favorite YouTube videos. Yes, believe it or not, it can be done.
2. Look up the best 5 pickup lines. They do tend to be useful. (Here’s a link to what we feel are the best 5 pickup lines. You’ll see.)
3. Whine on your blog. That way, you don’t get constipated from keeping it all in.
4. Stalk your crush on Facebook. Just about time, too; she just posted new pictures of herself in a bikini.
5. Search for adult websites. Yup, even the girls do it.

1. Gift certificates. These may sound a little impersonal, but women love to shop – and this is why gift certificates are one of the best 5 Christmas gifts for women. If you don’t know what gift to give her, give her a gift certificate from her favorite store – she’ll love you for it.

2. DVDs. Most women love watching movies at home; it is then no wonder that DVDs are one of the best 5 Christmas gifts for women. Find out which movies she still hasn’t watched and surprise her with DVDs. She just might watch them while drinking a hot cup of coffee this Christmas!

3. Personalized mp3 playlist. Although this is one of the best 5 Christmas gifts for women, it also is one of the gifts that need a lot of effort. However, a personalized playlist makes any woman feel much more appreciated and loved. It will probably be the most memorable gift she’ll receive this Christmas.

4. Wristwatch. Let’s face it: women love accessories. A watch is undeniably one of the best 5 Christmas gifts for women because it’s something they can wear everyday. It also reminds them of you whenever they check out the time.

5. Liquor. Yep, this probably belongs at the top of the best 5 Christmas gifts for women. Try blush wine (white zinfandel) if you can’t decide between white or red wine. It’s a classy gift, something she’ll open when there’s cause for celebration. Surely one of the best 5 Christmas gifts for women!

1. Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I always thought you were gay! Are you sure you’re not?

2. I’m glad you like me. I’ve always liked you, too, especially when my mom from Mars moved back to earth several days ago and – wait, there’s our spaceship, you wanna meet my parents? There’s a ringing in my ear, do you get that, too?

3. Sorry; I only go out with superheroes who can fly.

4. You’re saying you love me, but what is love exactly? According to leading theories on relationships, men like women who remind them of their mothers. Here, sit down. This all began when Sigmund Freud started getting horny while thinking of his mother…

5. I’ve always wanted to be your girlfriend! When can we get married, is next week okay with you?