Honestly, we are very much against violence. But if someone forced us to come up with the best 5 countries to nuke or else our balls would be chopped off, we would have no choice but to come up with this list: Congo. Also known as Zaire, this nation is one of the best 5 countries to nuke. Congo has about, um, zero laws. If you want to...

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Rip off your favorite YouTube videos. Yes, believe it or not, it can be done. Look up the best 5 pickup lines. They do tend to be useful. (Here’s a link to what we feel are the best 5 pickup lines. You’ll see.) Whine on your blog. That way, you don’t get constipated from keeping it all in. Stalk your crush on Facebook. Just about time, too; she...

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1. Gift certificates. These may sound a little impersonal, but women love to shop – and this is why gift certificates are one of the best 5 Christmas gifts for women. If you don’t know what gift to give her, give her a gift certificate from her favorite store – she’ll love you for it. 2. DVDs. Most women love watching movies at home; it is then no...

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1. Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I always thought you were gay! Are you sure you’re not? 2. I’m glad you like me. I’ve always liked you, too, especially when my mom from Mars moved back to earth several days ago and – wait, there’s our spaceship, you wanna meet my parents? There’s a ringing in my ear, do you get that, too? 3. Sorry; I only...

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